“Fuck it, I’ll do it myself”. These are the words of Liam Neeson’s character Ottway after calling out to God for help but receiving no answer.

“The Grey” is full of this kind of contemplative dialogue and manly bravado. Director Joe Carnahan, the uber-hyper director behind “Smokin’ Aces,” this time slows things down to give us an intense dramatic thriller. As the loner Ottway (Neeson) and a group of fellow survivors of a plane crash try to outwit the wolves stalking them, there are moments of heartbreaking silence and beauty.

The film begins with Neeson’s Ottway narrating from a letter given to him by the woman who left him and then promptly putting the barrel of a gun in his mouth. He’s clearly in a bad way. Ottway is security, and by security I mean it’s his job to kill wolves, for an Alaskan oil company. After a horrific plane crash Ottway must band together with the other survivors to brave the elements and ultimately wolves.The film sags a bit at the halfway point when some of the less well developed characters dispatched in a “by the numbers” sort of way, but Neeson’s performance holds your attention well enough.

It’s always a mystery to me when a good film like “The Grey” gets dumped in cinema wasteland of January or February. I understand that this struggle for survival tale may be a bit too ponderous for the mega-plex crowd, after all it is marketed as a tense action thriller. The fact is this film shares more in common with “Runaway Train” than “First Blood”. If you’re looking for high action and over the top stunts look elsewhere. “The Grey” is a dark, contemplative, intense action drama that occascionally navigates existential territory. It might not be a film for everyone, but it is a damn good movie.

3.5 out of 5

Happy New Year! JV Returns this year with an audio podcast!

“Monsters” is set 6 years after earth has suffered an alien invasion when a cynical journalist Andrew Kaulder (Scoot McNairy) agrees to take a shaken American tourist Samantha Wynden (Whitney Able) through the infected zone in Mexico to the safety of the U.S. border.

At its core “Monsters” is about the relationship between Kaulder and Wynden. Kaulder is a photo journalist looking for his big break, and Wynded is the boss’daughter who just wants to get back home to her fiance. Their travel through the infected zone brings them closer together and forces them to deal with their feelings for each other. Edwards creates and incredibly believable and organic world on a modest budget and the actors are quite good but the film’s schizophrenic script weighs it down. The themes of displaced people of war and immigration problems aren’t ever fully realized and the viewers are left to wonder if Edwards’himself has answers to the questions he poses.

Overall the film’s atmosphere and performances lift it slightly above the messy script. There is a lot of talent involved here and I think Edwards will eventually make an amazing film. Unfortunately, “Monsters” is not that film. It’s a good effort, with some outstanding visuals and a lazy script. It’s currently available through Comcast on Demand as well as Amazon’s On Demand service. I’d recommend watching this one for the visuals, but wait for the Blu-Ray to be available from Netflix in late December.

Score 5.5/10

Oh, M. Night. I was really hoping that the first film of your “Night Chronicles” trilogy , “Devil”, would wind up being a pleasant surprise. After it was bumped the from the movie graveyard that is February to the it’s slightly more promising release date of September I though perhaps it had hope. After what was certainly the longest 80 minutes in my recent memory those hopes were dashed. Despite my personal beliefs I generally like religious themed horror. Unfortunately what could have been a genuinely tense character driven horror film spirals quickly into a heavy handed mess that is more concerned with delivering a message than entertaining it’s audience.

“Devil” is a poorly acted cliched clunker of a story that plays out like a creepy campfire tale retold in watered down fashion by your local pastor. I would love to lay all the blame on Shyamalan, but he can only be blamed for the script and his poor choice in director John Erick Dowdle. Sorry Mr. Dowdle, better luck next time. If you’re looking for a good way to spend your afternoon you’re better off sitting at home and watching your neighbor mow his lawn. At least then you have the prospect of some sort of heinous injury for entertainment.

Score: 3/10

In “The Town” Affleck plays Doug MacRay, a Charlestown native who holds down a day job in a gravel pit, but whose real money comes from knocking over banks and armoured cars. He and his crew pull off meticulously planned robberies with a hail of bullets and bravado.

During their latest heist, Doug’s short-tempered, life-long friend Jem (The Hurt Locker’s Jeremy Renner), decides to take a hostage. They kidnap bank manager Claire Keesey (Rebecca Hall) shove her into their getaway van, and eventually leaving her blindfolded and unharmed at the banks of the Charles River.When it turns out that Claire is a Charlestown resident, Jem panics, afraid she might be able to identify them. Doug sets out to meet Claire and discover what she knows, only to fall in love with her.

On its surface “The Town” is a hard boiled crime drama that sticks to convention – a thief who falls in love and longs to get out out of “the life”; the best friend with a short fuse; a drug addled former lover (Lively); and an officer of the law who will stop at nothing to get his man (Jon Hamm). This might sound derivative of a thousand different crime dramas – and it is – but it’s Affleck’s eye for authenticity and more-than-competent direction that will keep you entranced.

From the opening action sequence all the way to the finale, Affleck builds a palpable sense of romanticized doom. It is the atmosphere and the streets of the city itself that are the real stars of this film. Beantown’s back alleys and side streets come to life during some exceptional action set pieces. The most memorable of which is certainly the films finale that uses Fenway Park as its centerpiece for an outrageous heist.

“The Town” is not perfect, but it is damn close. I think it’s time we forgive Affleck for the few missteps he’s had in his career. He has given us one of the best films of the year and one that will likely be an Oscar contender.

Score: 9/10

I asked the awesome Heather to list the five most ridiculous death scenes in her movie memory, and she did a hell of a job. My personal favorite is #4 from Wes Craven’s Deadly Friend. Check out the article below and keep an eye out for my list of my favorite ridiculous deaths to be posted next Friday. Enjoy!!!

For a horror fan like myself who adores the over-the-top, campy, hilarious side of the genre, this was a very difficult list to narrow down. Ultimately, my choices are based not only on how laughable the scene is, but also how implausible, original, and well executed it is.

5. Street Trash (1987, J. Michael Muro) – “Toilet meltdown”

Certainly not the only grotesque melting scene in cinema history, but definitely one of the most unique. Not only do we have a liquor that melts people but more specifically it turns hobos into fluorescently-colored piles of goo. In this famous scene, the first unfortunate bum to imbibe “Viper” melts into a dirty, abandoned toilet. The rubbery face that emerges from the bowl at the end is the peak of this scene’s ridiculousness. And it gets bonus ridiculous points for all the unnecessary Raimi-esque camera movements. Street Trash is chock full of colorful (har har) moments like this one, so if you haven’t already seen it, do so immediately.

4.Deadly Friend (1986, Wes Craven) – “Deadly basketball”

Two years after A Nightmare on Elm Street, Wes Craven made this corny little gem about a killer Kristy Swanson. If you never watch this movie, okay, I don’t blame you. But everybody should watch the basketball scene at least once. Actually, you won’t be able to stop at just once. Yes, it’s the cheesy, gory equivalent of a Lay’s potato chip. Watch, and behold the deadliest basketball ever. Bonus ridiculous points for Anne Ramsey (or as you know her, “that mean old woman from Goonies”) and her very premature scream.

3.Hausu (1977, Nobuhiko Obayashi) – “Piano food”

This whole damn movie is ridiculous, but if I have to narrow down one amazingly crazy death scene – and the lampshade scene is a close second – I have to give it to death-by-piano. As if the concept of being devoured by a piano isn’t ridiculous enough, this entire scene is off-the-charts absurd. There are goldfish, cats, lightening, and my personal favorite, a dancing skeleton. I love how the piano eats the girl’s fingers first, which amuses her, but when it eats her hand, oh no, that’s too much. And just when you think this can’t get any weirder…well, I won’t spoil it.

2.Dead Alive/Braindead (1992, Peter Jackson)

Choosing just one ridiculous death scene from this movie is like picking a favorite child. Everything about this movie is over-the-top and wonderful. The clip provided here includes ten must-see minutes from the film’s ending. My choice for most awesomely ridiculous death arrives at 4:20 where Rita bites it. Herein, two tiny arms sprout from each side of her head and proceed to rip her face open to reveal a giggling zombie baby, who then walks her corpse around like a puppet. Is Peter Jackson making a twisted metaphor of child birth? Who knows what goes on in that sick brain. Can you believe they let this guy make Lord of the Rings? I love it.

1.Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991, Lam Ngai Kai)

Here is another movie that is beginning-to-end ridiculous in the best possible way. The titular character destroys his enemies in increasingly outlandish, gory ways. He punches a hole in someone’s stomach, shatters hands with his fist, and literally punches a guy’s jaw off his face. But my favorite death scene comes when Ricky fights Oscar, the prison warden’s beloved fighter. First, Ricky knocks his eyeball out with a light slap. Oscar, ashamed and beaten, harakiri’s himself but before dying decides to strangle Ricky with his intestines. Amazing. The fatal blow isn’t quite as awesome, but a sweet Sonny Chiba reference all the same. Riki-Oh took #1 on my list for packing an impressive amount of ridiculousness into 91 minutes. This is one film I will never, ever tire of watching.

1. Street Fighter : The Legend of Chun Li

In trying to right the wrong that was done with Van Damme’s 1994 version of the video game director Andrzej Bartkowiak (Doom, Exit Wounds, Rome Must Die) have only done, well, more wrong. This time the story centers around Chun Li (Kristin Kreuk) and her quest for vengeance against Bison (Neal McDonough) for wrongs done against her family when she was a child.

What’s good about it: Nothing really. Yes Kristin Kreuk is impossibly hot, but unless you’re a huge fan of wirework stunts and cheesy martial arts flicks you won’t find much here.

What’s bad about it: Everything you could possibly imagine. The characters are shallow, the script is lazy, the direction is standard at best, and sadly they even leave room for a sequel. Not that it’s likely to get made.

Bottom Line: Don’t rent it. Don’t buy it. Don’t even look at the dvd. Well maybe look at the dvd. Kreuk is still amazing to look at. Which is why chose the pic above instead of the awful movie poster.

12 Rounds is essentially the same film as Die Hard 3. Protagonist (John Cena) kills someone close to antagonist, in this case by accident. Antagonist (Aiden Gillen) comes back years later to exact revenge by putting protagonist through a series of rigorous tests and “games” keeping the entire police force busy while antagonist steals truckloads of money.

What’s good about it: You guessed it, not much. Renny Harlin has never been bad at putting an action sequence together, and there are some decent ones here but nothing you haven’t seen before.

What’s bad about it: The wooden acting, derivative material, and uninspired direction.

Bottom Line: Be glad they didn’t rehire Harlin to direct Die Hard 3, because this is what we would have ended up with. If you’ve seen more than a few action movies, you’ve seen this film. Stay away. Very far away.

3.Tokyo!

Three talented directors (Michel Gondry, Jooh-ho Bong, Leos Carax) tell three very different stories all involving one city. Tokyo!

What’s good about it: Gondry’s segment “Interior Design” is beautifully shot and acted. It’s likely my favorite. Joon-ho Bong’s “Shaking Tokyo” is a quirky, fun, and atmospheric love story involving a junk collector and a pizza delivery girl.

What’s bad about it: Leos Carax’s “Merde” segment isn’t exactly bad, but it’s certainly the weakest link in the group. While it’s well shot, Merde, seems to try the patience of it’s viewers in the last act.

The Bottom Line: If you own a Blu-Ray player this is worth buying. It’s scenes of Tokyo as seen through the eyes of these directors are absolutely awesome.

In 1983 director John Badham was kinda bad ass. Not only did he give us the now semi-classic War Games with Matthew Broderick, but also the often forgotten Blue Thunder. Blue Thunder boasts a cast of Roy Scheider (Jaws), Daniel Stern (Diner), Warren Oates (Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia), Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange), and Candy Clark (The Man Who Fell to Earth). In the film Scheider plays Officer Frank Murphy an air support helicopter pilot who, in preparation for the upcoming Olympic games in Los Angeles, is chosen to test a new attack helicopter designed for crowd control. When Murphy and his partner Richard Lymangood (Daniel Stern) stumble on to the the nefarious plans of some local government officials and military personnel Murphy hijacks the helicopter in an attempt to set things straight. Malcolm McDowell is particularly slimy playing Col. Cochrane, and Warren Oates has some classic lines as Capt. Braddock. There is also an incredibly well shot street level helicopter chase toward the end of the film. Supposedly it’s the first one ever filmed. Thunder, scripted by Dan O’Bannon (Alien, Dead and Buried), is a solid 80′s action flick that you should all add to your Netflix Queue. Check out the trailer below.


* Blue Thunder releases on Blu-Ray August 11th. You can pick up here

1. The Underneath (1995)
In 1995 Sodebergh released a taut little thriller starring Peter Gallagher, Allison Elliot, and the very underrated William Fitchner. The Underneath is the story of Michael Chambers, a compulsive gambler who returns to his Texas home for the wedding of his mother (Anjanette Comer). In his absence, his ex-wife Rachel (Alison Elliott) has married Tommy (William Fichtner), a ruthless local hood. Michael and Rachel soon resume their relationship, incurring Tommy’s wrath. Out of their deceptions grows a plot to heist an armored car, a crime which requires the unwitting aid of Michael’s stepfather (Paul Dooley) as well as a banker (Elisabeth Shue) with whom Michael shared a brief fling. The film did fairly well on video, but was completely overlooked upon it’s theatrical release. The film has stylish cinematography, tight pacing, and some great perfomances. Especially by Fitchner who chews up every scene he’s in. If you haven’t seen this, put it on your damn Netflix Queue now!


2. Schizopolis (1996)
Absurdist comedy at it’s finest. Sodebergh’s Schizopolis is nonsensical, offensive, and completely hilarious. Here’s the plot breakdown via IMDB

Fletcher Munson is a lethargic, passive worker for a Scientology-like self-help corporation called Eventualism. After the death of a colleague, he is promoted to the job of writing speeches for T. Azimuth Schwitters, the founder and head of the group. He uses this as an excuse to be emotionally and romantically distant from his wife, who, he discovers, is having an affair with his doppelganger, a dentist named Dr. Jeffrey Korchek. As Munson fumbles with the speech and Korchek becomes obsessed with a new patient, a psychotic exterminator named Elmo Oxygen goes around the town seducing lonely wives and taking photographs of his genitals.

It’s just as crazy as it sounds and even more fun than you think. I suggest you watch this and pair it with your favorite adult beverage. Perhaps Unibroue’s #17?


3. The Limey
In The Limey Stamp plays an ex-con who travels to L.A. looking for the man responsible for the death of his daughter. This is a revenge film, but not an action film. It focuses on the character’s relationship with his daughter and how he is forced to deal with his shortcomings as father. The performances really standout in this film. With a supporting cast that includes Peter Fonda, Lesley Ann Warren, Luis Guzman, and Nikki Katt it’s absolutely a must see film. And remember while this film doesn’t fall into the Action genre, Terence Stamp will still fuck you up. Kneel before Zod!