I asked the awesome Heather to list the five most ridiculous death scenes in her movie memory, and she did a hell of a job. My personal favorite is #4 from Wes Craven’s Deadly Friend. Check out the article below and keep an eye out for my list of my favorite ridiculous deaths to be posted next Friday. Enjoy!!!

For a horror fan like myself who adores the over-the-top, campy, hilarious side of the genre, this was a very difficult list to narrow down. Ultimately, my choices are based not only on how laughable the scene is, but also how implausible, original, and well executed it is.

5. Street Trash (1987, J. Michael Muro) – “Toilet meltdown”

Certainly not the only grotesque melting scene in cinema history, but definitely one of the most unique. Not only do we have a liquor that melts people but more specifically it turns hobos into fluorescently-colored piles of goo. In this famous scene, the first unfortunate bum to imbibe “Viper” melts into a dirty, abandoned toilet. The rubbery face that emerges from the bowl at the end is the peak of this scene’s ridiculousness. And it gets bonus ridiculous points for all the unnecessary Raimi-esque camera movements. Street Trash is chock full of colorful (har har) moments like this one, so if you haven’t already seen it, do so immediately.

4.Deadly Friend (1986, Wes Craven) – “Deadly basketball”

Two years after A Nightmare on Elm Street, Wes Craven made this corny little gem about a killer Kristy Swanson. If you never watch this movie, okay, I don’t blame you. But everybody should watch the basketball scene at least once. Actually, you won’t be able to stop at just once. Yes, it’s the cheesy, gory equivalent of a Lay’s potato chip. Watch, and behold the deadliest basketball ever. Bonus ridiculous points for Anne Ramsey (or as you know her, “that mean old woman from Goonies”) and her very premature scream.

3.Hausu (1977, Nobuhiko Obayashi) – “Piano food”

This whole damn movie is ridiculous, but if I have to narrow down one amazingly crazy death scene – and the lampshade scene is a close second – I have to give it to death-by-piano. As if the concept of being devoured by a piano isn’t ridiculous enough, this entire scene is off-the-charts absurd. There are goldfish, cats, lightening, and my personal favorite, a dancing skeleton. I love how the piano eats the girl’s fingers first, which amuses her, but when it eats her hand, oh no, that’s too much. And just when you think this can’t get any weirder…well, I won’t spoil it.

2.Dead Alive/Braindead (1992, Peter Jackson)

Choosing just one ridiculous death scene from this movie is like picking a favorite child. Everything about this movie is over-the-top and wonderful. The clip provided here includes ten must-see minutes from the film’s ending. My choice for most awesomely ridiculous death arrives at 4:20 where Rita bites it. Herein, two tiny arms sprout from each side of her head and proceed to rip her face open to reveal a giggling zombie baby, who then walks her corpse around like a puppet. Is Peter Jackson making a twisted metaphor of child birth? Who knows what goes on in that sick brain. Can you believe they let this guy make Lord of the Rings? I love it.

1.Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991, Lam Ngai Kai)

Here is another movie that is beginning-to-end ridiculous in the best possible way. The titular character destroys his enemies in increasingly outlandish, gory ways. He punches a hole in someone’s stomach, shatters hands with his fist, and literally punches a guy’s jaw off his face. But my favorite death scene comes when Ricky fights Oscar, the prison warden’s beloved fighter. First, Ricky knocks his eyeball out with a light slap. Oscar, ashamed and beaten, harakiri’s himself but before dying decides to strangle Ricky with his intestines. Amazing. The fatal blow isn’t quite as awesome, but a sweet Sonny Chiba reference all the same. Riki-Oh took #1 on my list for packing an impressive amount of ridiculousness into 91 minutes. This is one film I will never, ever tire of watching.

1. Street Fighter : The Legend of Chun Li

In trying to right the wrong that was done with Van Damme’s 1994 version of the video game director Andrzej Bartkowiak (Doom, Exit Wounds, Rome Must Die) have only done, well, more wrong. This time the story centers around Chun Li (Kristin Kreuk) and her quest for vengeance against Bison (Neal McDonough) for wrongs done against her family when she was a child.

What’s good about it: Nothing really. Yes Kristin Kreuk is impossibly hot, but unless you’re a huge fan of wirework stunts and cheesy martial arts flicks you won’t find much here.

What’s bad about it: Everything you could possibly imagine. The characters are shallow, the script is lazy, the direction is standard at best, and sadly they even leave room for a sequel. Not that it’s likely to get made.

Bottom Line: Don’t rent it. Don’t buy it. Don’t even look at the dvd. Well maybe look at the dvd. Kreuk is still amazing to look at. Which is why chose the pic above instead of the awful movie poster.

12 Rounds is essentially the same film as Die Hard 3. Protagonist (John Cena) kills someone close to antagonist, in this case by accident. Antagonist (Aiden Gillen) comes back years later to exact revenge by putting protagonist through a series of rigorous tests and “games” keeping the entire police force busy while antagonist steals truckloads of money.

What’s good about it: You guessed it, not much. Renny Harlin has never been bad at putting an action sequence together, and there are some decent ones here but nothing you haven’t seen before.

What’s bad about it: The wooden acting, derivative material, and uninspired direction.

Bottom Line: Be glad they didn’t rehire Harlin to direct Die Hard 3, because this is what we would have ended up with. If you’ve seen more than a few action movies, you’ve seen this film. Stay away. Very far away.

3.Tokyo!

Three talented directors (Michel Gondry, Jooh-ho Bong, Leos Carax) tell three very different stories all involving one city. Tokyo!

What’s good about it: Gondry’s segment “Interior Design” is beautifully shot and acted. It’s likely my favorite. Joon-ho Bong’s “Shaking Tokyo” is a quirky, fun, and atmospheric love story involving a junk collector and a pizza delivery girl.

What’s bad about it: Leos Carax’s “Merde” segment isn’t exactly bad, but it’s certainly the weakest link in the group. While it’s well shot, Merde, seems to try the patience of it’s viewers in the last act.

The Bottom Line: If you own a Blu-Ray player this is worth buying. It’s scenes of Tokyo as seen through the eyes of these directors are absolutely awesome.

In 1983 director John Badham was kinda bad ass. Not only did he give us the now semi-classic War Games with Matthew Broderick, but also the often forgotten Blue Thunder. Blue Thunder boasts a cast of Roy Scheider (Jaws), Daniel Stern (Diner), Warren Oates (Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia), Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange), and Candy Clark (The Man Who Fell to Earth). In the film Scheider plays Officer Frank Murphy an air support helicopter pilot who, in preparation for the upcoming Olympic games in Los Angeles, is chosen to test a new attack helicopter designed for crowd control. When Murphy and his partner Richard Lymangood (Daniel Stern) stumble on to the the nefarious plans of some local government officials and military personnel Murphy hijacks the helicopter in an attempt to set things straight. Malcolm McDowell is particularly slimy playing Col. Cochrane, and Warren Oates has some classic lines as Capt. Braddock. There is also an incredibly well shot street level helicopter chase toward the end of the film. Supposedly it’s the first one ever filmed. Thunder, scripted by Dan O’Bannon (Alien, Dead and Buried), is a solid 80′s action flick that you should all add to your Netflix Queue. Check out the trailer below.


* Blue Thunder releases on Blu-Ray August 11th. You can pick up here

1. The Underneath (1995)
In 1995 Sodebergh released a taut little thriller starring Peter Gallagher, Allison Elliot, and the very underrated William Fitchner. The Underneath is the story of Michael Chambers, a compulsive gambler who returns to his Texas home for the wedding of his mother (Anjanette Comer). In his absence, his ex-wife Rachel (Alison Elliott) has married Tommy (William Fichtner), a ruthless local hood. Michael and Rachel soon resume their relationship, incurring Tommy’s wrath. Out of their deceptions grows a plot to heist an armored car, a crime which requires the unwitting aid of Michael’s stepfather (Paul Dooley) as well as a banker (Elisabeth Shue) with whom Michael shared a brief fling. The film did fairly well on video, but was completely overlooked upon it’s theatrical release. The film has stylish cinematography, tight pacing, and some great perfomances. Especially by Fitchner who chews up every scene he’s in. If you haven’t seen this, put it on your damn Netflix Queue now!


2. Schizopolis (1996)
Absurdist comedy at it’s finest. Sodebergh’s Schizopolis is nonsensical, offensive, and completely hilarious. Here’s the plot breakdown via IMDB

Fletcher Munson is a lethargic, passive worker for a Scientology-like self-help corporation called Eventualism. After the death of a colleague, he is promoted to the job of writing speeches for T. Azimuth Schwitters, the founder and head of the group. He uses this as an excuse to be emotionally and romantically distant from his wife, who, he discovers, is having an affair with his doppelganger, a dentist named Dr. Jeffrey Korchek. As Munson fumbles with the speech and Korchek becomes obsessed with a new patient, a psychotic exterminator named Elmo Oxygen goes around the town seducing lonely wives and taking photographs of his genitals.

It’s just as crazy as it sounds and even more fun than you think. I suggest you watch this and pair it with your favorite adult beverage. Perhaps Unibroue’s #17?


3. The Limey
In The Limey Stamp plays an ex-con who travels to L.A. looking for the man responsible for the death of his daughter. This is a revenge film, but not an action film. It focuses on the character’s relationship with his daughter and how he is forced to deal with his shortcomings as father. The performances really standout in this film. With a supporting cast that includes Peter Fonda, Lesley Ann Warren, Luis Guzman, and Nikki Katt it’s absolutely a must see film. And remember while this film doesn’t fall into the Action genre, Terence Stamp will still fuck you up. Kneel before Zod!

No, I didn’t get to see Watchmen. But the geeks at FilmSchoolRejects sure did. You may have noticed that I haven’t posted much on what is probably the most anticipated movie of the year for many of you, and that’s not because I’m not interested. It’s simply because I’m completely sick of all the bullshit rumors. Now that someone I trust (FilmSchoolRejects) has seen it I can again look forward to the most gratuitously hyped film of the decade being released. It seems this is the best Watchmen any of us could have hoped for. Check out their review HERE.

Against the Drunk is our first attempt at a drunken movie review and commentary. It’s a bit chaotic and a little incoherent but stick with it they’ll get better as time goes by. This weeks movie is Steven Seagal’s Against The Dark. The movie takes place in the not too distant future where the world has been ravaged by a virus that turns people into vampire/zombies. Seagal plays a government sanctioned “hunter” who leads a team to clear out the worst infected areas. When he stumbles upon a group of survivors in a run down hospital they discover that the infected may be “evolving” and things could be worse than they seem. I promise the movie is actually much worse than it sounds.
Thanks to Matt Patton for the new intro and swinging by to shoot this damn thing. We had a blast.
Enjoy the drunken morons below, but remember it’s NSFW.

* I have more outtakes to post soon as well. One of which includes my roomie Sam wander into the Vlog half naked, drunk and with partially bleached hair. He didn’t realize we were shooting a blog

I don’t know if it’s in bad form to post another video blog other than my own, but Phonte’s break down of Seven Pounds is honest, and down right hysterical, so it had to be done. Be warned there are spoilers, and this is likely not safe for your work place. Enjoy anyway, and you can find more of his Movie in a Minute on You Tube. He’s a funny guy, check him out.

*Thanks to Phil for posting it on his Facebook, which is where I found it.

I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m going to promote a romantic comedy. Before you yank my geek card and tell me I’m lame, hear me out. The film, 500 Days of Summer, has a great cast, and by great I mean the ridiculously cute and talented Zooey Deschanel and one of my favorite young actors Joseph Gordon-Levitt. If you haven’t seen Gordon-Levitt’s work in Brick or Mysterious Skin put it on your netflix queue now or I’ll punch you in the throat. Those to actors alone should be enough reason to watch any film. But if you need more convincing watch the trailer below. The film released July 24th. Enjoy.

* Throatpunch

I’ve just had the pleasure of watching Ji-Woon Kim’s ultra-violent western The Good, The Bad and The Weird. I can’t recommend it enough. The film is full of inspired action sequences, clever homages, and some downright ridiculous moments. The film’s official US release date via IFC films is February 6th 2009. It’s unclear yet if IFC will offer it as part of their on-demand library or not. Either way, rush to the theater to see this movie. It’s without a doubt in my top 10 of 2008. If you haven’t already seen the trailer. Check it out below.

This movie kicks so much ass that if any of you wanted to see it early I might able to be persuaded into a viewing party.