Happy New Year! JV Returns this year with an audio podcast!

If you’re a fan of Japanese cinema you’ve likely heard of Shion Sono. If you haven’t then you need to get on your Netflix right now. I recommend Suicide Club, Noriko’s Dinner Table, Hazard, Strange Circus, and Love Exposure if you can find it anywhere. If you can’t ask me nicely and I’ll let you borrow my copy. Below is the trailer for Sono’s latest work “Cold Fish”.

The official synopsis:

Shamoto runs a small tropical fish shop and leads a boring, but stable life. His second wife, Taeko, does not get along with his daughter, Mitsuko, and this worries him. He also feels somehow unfulfilled and dissatisfied with what his life has become.

In the end, the conflict between Shamoto and Murata will result in murder, insanity, and an ordinary man being driven to the edge of the abyss.

If you’re lucky enough to have a region free DVD player you can find this available on Amazon in R2 DVD. If not you’ll have to hold out for an American release TBA.

It’s a giant flying squid in a thunderstorm attacking a plane. If that alone doesn’t make you want to watch it you have issues. “Altitude” is comic book artist Kaare Andrews’first full length feature and even though it debuted to some pretty lukewarm reviews at VIFF I’ll still give it a whirl. The premise is ridiculous, the trailer is more ridiculous, and it’s available on Blu-Ray on Oct. 26. Check it out below.

“Monsters” is set 6 years after earth has suffered an alien invasion when a cynical journalist Andrew Kaulder (Scoot McNairy) agrees to take a shaken American tourist Samantha Wynden (Whitney Able) through the infected zone in Mexico to the safety of the U.S. border.

At its core “Monsters” is about the relationship between Kaulder and Wynden. Kaulder is a photo journalist looking for his big break, and Wynded is the boss’daughter who just wants to get back home to her fiance. Their travel through the infected zone brings them closer together and forces them to deal with their feelings for each other. Edwards creates and incredibly believable and organic world on a modest budget and the actors are quite good but the film’s schizophrenic script weighs it down. The themes of displaced people of war and immigration problems aren’t ever fully realized and the viewers are left to wonder if Edwards’himself has answers to the questions he poses.

Overall the film’s atmosphere and performances lift it slightly above the messy script. There is a lot of talent involved here and I think Edwards will eventually make an amazing film. Unfortunately, “Monsters” is not that film. It’s a good effort, with some outstanding visuals and a lazy script. It’s currently available through Comcast on Demand as well as Amazon’s On Demand service. I’d recommend watching this one for the visuals, but wait for the Blu-Ray to be available from Netflix in late December.

Score 5.5/10

The full trailer for Mikkel Brænne Sandemose’s Cold Prey 3 is full of awesome! I was lukewarm on the previous sequel, but I’m pretty geeked up for this one. Check out the NSFW trailer below.

You know what’s right around the corner? Christmas. I can’t think of a better way to spend Christmas than watching a dutch film about a homicidal St. Nick. If that’s what you’re into then you’re in luck! Director Dick Maas is bringing us exactly that with “Sint”. If the trailer, which you can watch below, is any indication it’s going to be one insane little action/horror flick. Enjoy Kids!

Thanks once again to The Quiet Earth. Be sure to check them out, they’ve got a hell of a site.


Sint English subbed trailer
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A remake of Clive Barker’s 1987 “Hellraiser” has been in and out of the works for the last 4 years. A number of different directors and screenwriters have been attached including Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan (Feast Trilogy)Alexandre Bustillo, Julien Maury (Inside) and most recently Pascal Laugier (Martyrs) who officially dropped the project in June of 2009.

In September of 2010 it turns out that “Hellraiser” is still alive. While the remake/reboot may still be on the backburner it seems that yet another direct to video sequel is in the works. What’s worse? Doug Bradley won’t return as Pinhead. Pinhead was reduced to mere cameos in the last few lackluster sequels but will be playing a more central role in “Hellraiser: Revelations”. Who is the new Pinhead you ask? Well it’s Stephan Smith Collins! Who the fuck is that?! Don’t worry I had to search him on IMDB too. Mr. Collins has a short list of genre films creditied to his name and not much more.

While the news of the remake/reboot not yet and possibly not ever getting off the ground is what I would consider good the replacement of Doug Bradley as Pinhead strikes me as a bit odd. It’s not as if Bradley is too old or out of shape to play the part, and to be honest it’s a direct to video sequel so would care if he was?

*Thanks to Nate for the heads up on this

Do you want to see a Hellraiser reboot?

Oh, M. Night. I was really hoping that the first film of your “Night Chronicles” trilogy , “Devil”, would wind up being a pleasant surprise. After it was bumped the from the movie graveyard that is February to the it’s slightly more promising release date of September I though perhaps it had hope. After what was certainly the longest 80 minutes in my recent memory those hopes were dashed. Despite my personal beliefs I generally like religious themed horror. Unfortunately what could have been a genuinely tense character driven horror film spirals quickly into a heavy handed mess that is more concerned with delivering a message than entertaining it’s audience.

“Devil” is a poorly acted cliched clunker of a story that plays out like a creepy campfire tale retold in watered down fashion by your local pastor. I would love to lay all the blame on Shyamalan, but he can only be blamed for the script and his poor choice in director John Erick Dowdle. Sorry Mr. Dowdle, better luck next time. If you’re looking for a good way to spend your afternoon you’re better off sitting at home and watching your neighbor mow his lawn. At least then you have the prospect of some sort of heinous injury for entertainment.

Score: 3/10

I asked the awesome Heather to list the five most ridiculous death scenes in her movie memory, and she did a hell of a job. My personal favorite is #4 from Wes Craven’s Deadly Friend. Check out the article below and keep an eye out for my list of my favorite ridiculous deaths to be posted next Friday. Enjoy!!!

For a horror fan like myself who adores the over-the-top, campy, hilarious side of the genre, this was a very difficult list to narrow down. Ultimately, my choices are based not only on how laughable the scene is, but also how implausible, original, and well executed it is.

5. Street Trash (1987, J. Michael Muro) – “Toilet meltdown”

Certainly not the only grotesque melting scene in cinema history, but definitely one of the most unique. Not only do we have a liquor that melts people but more specifically it turns hobos into fluorescently-colored piles of goo. In this famous scene, the first unfortunate bum to imbibe “Viper” melts into a dirty, abandoned toilet. The rubbery face that emerges from the bowl at the end is the peak of this scene’s ridiculousness. And it gets bonus ridiculous points for all the unnecessary Raimi-esque camera movements. Street Trash is chock full of colorful (har har) moments like this one, so if you haven’t already seen it, do so immediately.

4.Deadly Friend (1986, Wes Craven) – “Deadly basketball”

Two years after A Nightmare on Elm Street, Wes Craven made this corny little gem about a killer Kristy Swanson. If you never watch this movie, okay, I don’t blame you. But everybody should watch the basketball scene at least once. Actually, you won’t be able to stop at just once. Yes, it’s the cheesy, gory equivalent of a Lay’s potato chip. Watch, and behold the deadliest basketball ever. Bonus ridiculous points for Anne Ramsey (or as you know her, “that mean old woman from Goonies”) and her very premature scream.

3.Hausu (1977, Nobuhiko Obayashi) – “Piano food”

This whole damn movie is ridiculous, but if I have to narrow down one amazingly crazy death scene – and the lampshade scene is a close second – I have to give it to death-by-piano. As if the concept of being devoured by a piano isn’t ridiculous enough, this entire scene is off-the-charts absurd. There are goldfish, cats, lightening, and my personal favorite, a dancing skeleton. I love how the piano eats the girl’s fingers first, which amuses her, but when it eats her hand, oh no, that’s too much. And just when you think this can’t get any weirder…well, I won’t spoil it.

2.Dead Alive/Braindead (1992, Peter Jackson)

Choosing just one ridiculous death scene from this movie is like picking a favorite child. Everything about this movie is over-the-top and wonderful. The clip provided here includes ten must-see minutes from the film’s ending. My choice for most awesomely ridiculous death arrives at 4:20 where Rita bites it. Herein, two tiny arms sprout from each side of her head and proceed to rip her face open to reveal a giggling zombie baby, who then walks her corpse around like a puppet. Is Peter Jackson making a twisted metaphor of child birth? Who knows what goes on in that sick brain. Can you believe they let this guy make Lord of the Rings? I love it.

1.Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991, Lam Ngai Kai)

Here is another movie that is beginning-to-end ridiculous in the best possible way. The titular character destroys his enemies in increasingly outlandish, gory ways. He punches a hole in someone’s stomach, shatters hands with his fist, and literally punches a guy’s jaw off his face. But my favorite death scene comes when Ricky fights Oscar, the prison warden’s beloved fighter. First, Ricky knocks his eyeball out with a light slap. Oscar, ashamed and beaten, harakiri’s himself but before dying decides to strangle Ricky with his intestines. Amazing. The fatal blow isn’t quite as awesome, but a sweet Sonny Chiba reference all the same. Riki-Oh took #1 on my list for packing an impressive amount of ridiculousness into 91 minutes. This is one film I will never, ever tire of watching.

The genre of zombedy has been beaten to virtual undeath. (Sorry had to be done) With the impending release of Zombieland (which I’m still lukewarm on) it’s nice to see someone taking a stab at spoofing another genre staple – vampires. Writer/Director Faye Jackson’s Strigoi is the story of Vlad, a good boy, who investigates a mysterious death in his grandfather’s village that raises questions about land ownership in the community. The trail points to ex-communist bully Constantin Tirescu and his wife, but when Vlad confronts them, he discovers that the richest landowners in the village have become real bloodsuckers. That makes two bloodsucking comedies I’m looking forward to this year! The other being the french Teeth of the Night (Vampire Party). Strigoi has no release date as of yet, but we’ll keep you posted. Until then, check out the trailer below and the films official site here.