The official teaser trailer for GI Joe that will air during the Superbowl tomorrow has shown up online. I haven’t given two shits about this film since I heard that the hacktacular Stephen Sommers was tapped to direct it. After watching the preview I still have no desire to watch it. I’m sure droves of angry fanboys will disagree with me. Guess what? I don’t care. The Mummy sucked. GI Joe will be worse. Check out the trailer below and let me know if you agree or disagree.

The trailer for Hungarian director Pater Sparrows adaption of Stanislaw Lem’s 1 is going to kick your ass. Lem, is an incredible science fiction writer whose novel Solaris has been adapted to the big screen twice. Once in 1978 by Andrei Tarkovsky and again in 2003 by Steven Sodebergh. While the themes that Lem explores in his writing are generally tough to translate to film 1, judging from the trailer alone, seems to have hit the nail on the head. Below is the synopsis and trailer for Sparrow’s 1.
No subtitles sorry

A bookshop renowned for its rare works is mysteriously and completely filled with copies of a book entitled 1, which doesn’t appear to have a publisher or author. The strange almanac describes what happens to the whole of humanity in the space of a minute. A police investigation begins and the bookshop staff are placed in solitary confinement by the Bureau for Paranormal Research (RDI Reality Defense Institute). As the investigation progresses, the situation becomes more complex and the book increasingly well known, raising numerous controversies (political, scientific, religious and artistic). Plagued by doubts, the protagonist has to face facts: reality only exists in the imagination of individuals



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I’ve posted about this film a number of times, but as the DVD release looms closer I figured I’d throw the trailer up one more time. Martyrs is the story of Lucie a 25 year old woman who, with her best friend Anna, sets out to take revenge on those who kidnapped and tormented her as a child. The French seem to know how to do horror these day, so even if this does look a bit derivative I’m still excited for it. Director Pascal Laugier has recently been tapped for the upcoming Hellraiser remake. I’ll reserve judgement on that call until I see this film. Check out the trailer below. The film releases to DVD April 28th.


*The image at the head of this article is what is hidden behind the slip away sleeve of the DVD release.
Question: Does anyone think it’s a good idea to remake Hellraiser?

World’s Greatest Dad is the story of a father (Robin Williams) who fakes a suicide note for his son who accidentally dies due to auto-erotic asphyxiation. The film, directed by Bobcat Goldthwait, is a comedy of the darkest variety. There are no trailers available as of yet, but I’ll be sure to post one as soon as they are. I don’t know about the rest of you but after 1991′s Shakes the Clown I knew Goldthwait had a great film in him somewhere. Shakes, while ridiculous and uneven, is still one of my favorite dark comedies. The film currently has no distribution, but with the rave reviews it’s getting it shouldn’t be long.

*Williams is usually his best in little films like this.

Since Low-Medium budget horror films have been doing so well at the box office apparently producer Paul W.S. Anderson thinks it’s time for another RE flick. Anderson, who has written the 4th installment says it’s darker than the previous installments and will take place in Alaska. Patrick Tatopolous (Underworld:Rise of the Lycans) has been brought on to do creature FX and Michael Lantieri (Jurassic Park 3) will be the special FX supervisor. They have yet to secure a cast or director, but something tells me it won’t be long. I will admit that I’m not a fan of a any of the three films in the series. The last installment, directed by Russell Mulcahy, I had high hopes for. It turned out to be a complete crapfest. Can’t we just let this franchise die quietly?

* Mila Jovovich is wicked hot isn’t she?

Hooray! More remake/reboot news! Before you get too cynical, read on. The good peoples over at Bloody-Disgusting are reporting that Robert Rodriguez and his Troublemaker studios have picked up the project to produce. The film at this point has no writer attached, and it’s unclear if Rodriguez would direct. Rodriguez directing a Predator film sounds like a fanboys wet dream right? Don’t hold your breath. Between the Sin City sequels and his family fantasy Shorts he’s booked solid until 2011. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’d be willing to wait. What say you?

Since Blood, Guts, Bullets, and Octane Joe Carnahan has been attached to more projects than I can count. Which means this business of him directing The A-Team could end in ultimate disaster. Sure, the prospect of Carnahan directing such a film should evoke major excitement, sadly it doesn’t. He was attached to Mission Impossible:III which J.J. Abrams ultimately ended up directing, Killing Pablo which has been “in production” since the dawn of time, and his remake of Otto Preminger’s Bunny Lake is Missing has barely gotten off the ground! Why Should I get excited about this?! Carnahan has a track record. One that would suggest that this film will, likely, never happen. At least not with him at the helm. Does anyone else out there think this is a complete joke?

*On the off chance that an A-Team movie ever does get made should Mr. T. at least get cameo?
** Any casting thougts?

Downloading Nancy is the story of an unhappy housewife (Maria Bello) who hires a man she meets online (Jason Patric) to kill her, but the two quickly bond in a very masochistic way and fall in love. The tough subject matter might be a bit hard to swallow for most people, but hopefully a ballsy distribution company will step up and give this film the release it deserves. Check out the trailer below and let me know if you plan to see it.

* HERE is a link to Cinematical’s review of the film
** I had kind on icky “I need a shower” feeling after watching the trailer. I can’t wait for the whole movie.

While I can’t understand a word anyone is saying in this film I can already tell I’ll probably love it. Kenny Starfighter is a bumbling intergalactic superhero who crash lands on planet earth and must protect a socially awkward schoolboy who has accidentally absorbed super powers. This is based on a Swedish TV show that ran back in the late 90′s. Check out the trailer below, it looks like Spaceballs on steroids.

Found this image thanks to the good folks over at Twitch. The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus is directed and written by Terry Gilliam and is Ledger’s final role. Co-Stars Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell all donated their fee for completing the film to Heath’s daughter. Below is a synopsis from IMDB . Damn I’m going to miss seeing him in movies.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is a fantastical morality tale, set in the present day. It tells the story of Dr Parnassus and his extraordinary ‘Imaginarium’, a travelling show where members of the audience get an irresistible opportunity to choose between light and joy or darkness and gloom. Blessed with the extraordinary gift of guiding the imaginations of others, Dr Parnassus is cursed with a dark secret. Long ago he made a bet with the devil, Mr Nick, in which he won immortality. Many centuries later, on meeting his one true love, Dr Parnassus made another deal with the devil, trading his immortality for youth, on condition that when his first-born reached its 16th birthday he or she would become the property of Mr Nick. Valentina is now rapidly approaching this ‘coming of age’milestone and Dr Parnassus is desperate to protect her from her impending fate. Mr Nick arrives to collect but, always keen to make a bet, renegotiates the wager. Now the winner of Valentina will be determined by whoever seduces the first five souls. Enlisting a series of wild, comical and compelling characters in his journey, Dr Parnassus promises his daughter’s hand in marriage to the man that helps him win. In this captivating, explosive and wonderfully imaginative race against time, Dr Parnassus must fight to save his daughter in a never-ending landscape of surreal obstacles – and undo the mistakes of his past once and for all…