This is a quick one.  Brett Ratner has expressed interest in making a Guitar Hero movie.

I have expressed interest in making a movie in which Ratner, Uwe Boll, and Paul W.S. Anderson beat each other with bamboo poles.

You know, for the record.

Some genius thought it would be a good idea to make a movie based on the Sims games.

“The Sims, as you know, you can control your imaginary world, right? And our movie, a young man, a 16 year old kid of a 14 year old kid and his friend get their hands on this thing called the Sims Infinity Pack, right, which kind of this very strange video game store which was there just for that moment, and seemingly wasn’t all that. But what they realize is that they can scan their world in, because this is the most life like, real Sims game ever. And as they are playing this they are all of a sudden realizing is what they are playing on the game is having an effect on the real world. So in effect, through the game, they are able to control their world. It’s wish fulfillment, and obviously it turns against them.”- Producer John Davis

Safe to say that unless the movie involves people drowning because someone deleted the ladder from the pool, or children dying in horrible barbecue “accidents,” I have zero interest.

Sadly it’s true.Paul Newman has passed at the age of 83 after a long battle with cancer. A great actor, a true bad ass, and I’ll be damned if he didn’t distribute some pretty good salad dressing and spaghetti sauce. The man is a legend and will be missed. If you haven’t seen much of Newman’s filmography watch it all. Even if the movies weren’t great, he always was. Here are a couple of recommendations:
The Sting

Hud

Cool Hand Luke

Slapshot

The Hudsucker Proxy

Even though series director Richard Donner has opted out of the project, writer Shane Black (LW1,LW2) has stepped in. Black’s directorial debut, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, was well received with critics but only got a limited theatrical release. Not much is known about the script for LW5, but if Black is writing I’m sure it will be at least watchable. In my opinion if there going to do this Hiring Black to write and direct is exactly the way to go. What say you?

In news that I could give a shit less about it’s yet another Depp/Burton teaming for Alice in Wonderland. Depp will play the role of the Mad Hatter and Burton will direct or demolish, whichever you prefer. The film will be shot in 3D and I will most likely not fork over my hard earned cash. I haven’t liked anything Burton has done since The Nightmare Before Christmas. Any chance someone could knock some sense into either of these two? For shit’s sake Burton stop reimagining/reinventing/remaking/rebooting and lets get back to the good old days of Frankenweenie and Edward Scissorhands. And Depp…I don’t know what to say. You’ve annoyed me since 21 Jump Street, I find you strangely interesting. Unless of course your dressed like a pirate or in cahoots with Tim Burton. Then I could care less.

Ki-Duk Kim’s thirteenth film “Time” is likely the most disposable of the auteur’s collection. While it may be a bit harsh to call the film awful, it certainly isn’t a stretch to call it more than a bit empty.

The films premise, goes a little something like this: An inexplicably crazy See-Hee (Park Ji-Yeon) undergoes plastic surgery and disappears from hapless boyfriend Ji-woo, only to return with a new name and face (See-Hee, played now by Seong Hyeon-a)– but still batshit crazy. See-Hee eventually manages to seduce Ji-Woo, but when he discovers her real identity by chance, Kim shoots us back through his rabbit hole once again.

If it were not for competent performance by all three leads, this film might have completely failed. Sadly it’s Kim’s direction and the lack of any real characterization for See-Hee that hurt it the most. Had he given See-Hee any real motivation for her actions (or the audience any time to understand the scope of her sexual jealousy), the whole thing may have been easier to swallow.

Kim’s film is not by any standard un-watchable. He does however fail to deliver any solid message to the viewer. Even the heavy-handed ending can be a bit confusing, as it does not coincide with the rest of the film’s themes. If you really must watch a movie about facial reconstruction watch Frankenheimer’s Seconds or Hiroshi Teshigahara’s “The Face of Another” Hell, even watch Woo’s “Face/Off.” They’re all better films, the latter being more of a guilty pleasure.

OVERALL:
Interesting premise, solid performances, some good moments, but marred by flawed characterizations, a failure to solidify any real theme, and a laughable ending.
5/10

Dead Girl has been getting quite a lot of press over the last few months, and since it’s opening at FantasticFest it’s even gotten some great reviews. For those of you who are into horror, and like their horror strange and brutal check out the teaser by clicking on the link below. It is NSFW, so be make sure you’re at home.
ENJOY IT HERE

Seth Rogen wanted Stephen Chow (Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer)to play Kato in his upcoming big screen adaptation of The Green Hornet so bad that he offered him the chance to direct it as well. Chow accepted, and had this to say
“I’m excited to be taking on ‘The Green Hornet’ — obviously I’ve been a huge fan of the show since I was a kid,” Chow said. “The idea of stepping into Bruce Lee’s shoes as Kato is both humbling and thrilling, and to get the chance to direct the project as my American movie debut is simply a dream come true.”
Sounds like a winning combo to me. Let us just hope that there are no scenes of Chow flicking Rogens Penis. Those of you who have seen God of Cookery know exactly what I’m talking about.

At one point I wrote about a thousand words on how much I hate Gus Van Sant. It was only that short because I was too frustrated to continue.  Even the most obnoxious hack has a few moments of quality, and admittedly if you can get past how obnoxiously cloying it is, Good Will Hunting is decent. Elephant has a couple of cool cinematographic moments.

But this is the guy who thought remaking Psycho shot-for-shot would be a great idea. Everything he does, every smug little moment of his smug little movies makes me want to reach through the screen and slap the shit out of him.

So what does this asshat do now? Apparently he decided that the only film that has ever made me cry, the fantastic documentary The Times of Harvey Milk, wasn’t perfect enough and needed to be remade with Sean “I couldn’t even win an Oscar for playing a retard” Penn.

Why? The documentary crew had enough archival footage of Milk that the entire story told itself. From all appearances, the bulk of Van Sant’s movie is largely recreations of existing footage.

I think it would be a stretch to think that even my beloved Werner Herzog could do a biopic comparable to the documentary, nevermind the smarmy prick that made Last Days.

Kiss. My. Ass.